Yes, it’s true… Jesus would hate my bathroom

Now that my Christian friends are feverishly praying regarding what I’m about to write and my non-Christian friends have collectively rolled their eyes, let me explain.

Now I will do the best I can given my Bible and other books are all in a box a the new place.

It has always bothered me about dear King James: there were these great stories shared and lessons taught in the common language of the day, and King James ordered the English version to be written in the King’s English– hardly common! To best understand the passion and emotions behind the words of Jesus, I prefer Philip’s version. Philip, to my knowledge, only translated the first four books of the New Testament–the accounts regarding the period when Jesus was alive on the earth. To Philip, I say “thank you!”

According to King Jame, Jesus would have probably said, “Oh though tiled (pronounced tile-ed), whitewashed tub; thou art sparkling and featured of real estate flyers, yet beneath lies tombs.” Huh?  Yah, exactly. Jesus said this about some very pious religious churchy types once and WOW, they got really mad. Sad part is, when you read it, you end up assuming they were very touchy and inventing a reason to be mad. If he said that of my bathroom, you’d assume I was being melodramatic about some chipped tile in the corner or something silly like that.Ah, but to hear how Philip translated it: “You think you’re just beautiful; the sparkling, expensive selling point that every realtor shows to make everyone desire this house. Little do they know that just beneath the surface, you’re covered in black mold, water-soaked, with rotten, decaying studs that require dismantling of it all to remove.” Of course, when Jesus said it to the pious peeps, he referenced their souls being dead as decaying corpses in their graves with the pretty mowed grass and flowers up on the surface level. Ah, I think I get why they didn’t like him much. My bathroom doesn’t have a soul– just mold, and crumbling, rotten studs.

That kind of truth really hurts. And yes, that kind of truth took most of my day with this bathroom. The tile work was beautiful and I paused to look at it a moment before taking the hammer to it, but the mold, rot and decay below had to come out. Today the work continues with Troy and his sub. putting in new studs.